Affirmations For Health and Fitness

There has been a lot in the media in the last few years regarding affirmations and how you can use them to make changes in your life.

An affirmation is a positive statement of fact that one makes to manifest their desired future.

Scientific Evidence

There is much scientific evidence that these positive statements are effective in improving physical health. They tell your subconscious mind to get to work making all the systems of the body function properly.

Change Your Energy

When you change unhealthy thought patterns, and start making positive statements about your health, you change the energy that flows to your physical body from your energy source, or subconscious mind. This is turn can actually change your physical body.

Here are some of our favorites that you can use to help you on your journey towards a healthier, happier life.

• All the systems of my body function perfectly.
• I am perfectly healthy in body, mind and spirit.
• I am well, I am whole, and I am strong and healthy.
• I never get sick.
• I am healthy, happy and radiant.
• I radiate good health.
• My body is a safe and pleasurable place for me to be.
• My sleep is relaxed and refreshing.
• I have all the energy I need to accomplish my goals.
• My body is healed, restored and filled with energy.
• I have abundant energy, vitality and well-being.
• I am healthy in all aspects of my being.
• I am always able to maintain my ideal weight.
• I am filled with energy to do all the daily activities in my life.
• My mind is at peace.
• I love and care for my body and it cares for me.

When you make these statements, joyfully envision your body in perfect health. Close your eyes and picture your healthy, vibrant new you.

If you make this a daily practice, in a short time you will no doubt see significant improvements in your body, your health and your life!

Katie Hayes writes about health and fitness topics. Read more about affirmations, positive thinking and the happiness-health connection at http://www.health-and-fitness-source.com

Gordon Hutner

Writing the Rainbow

If you were to disregard all of the file folders, books and scribbled Post-It notes, one of the first things you'd notice about my office is my fondness for The Wizard of Oz. Along the walls and bookshelves are postcards of Dorothy and The Wicked Witch, a stuffed Scarecrow and a Cowardly Lion hand puppet. There's also an 18-inch rainbow on my desk. It's really a candleholder, a simple black ornamental bridge with small glass votives of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. To me it is a symbol of hope and inspiration, a reminder of how color became my muse.

The road to rainbows

Like many writers, there was a time when my words did not flow, flow, flow onto the paper, a time when I would have welcomed a pair of ruby slippers just so I could click myself three times out of the Writers Block Woods and into the Creative Light. Then one day I walked into a metaphysical shop and found my muse. There along one large, sunny window were over 100 square glass bottles, each containing two different-colored layers of liquid. They mesmerized me with their gem-like brilliance.

This was my introduction to Aura-Soma, an holistic therapy which uses the healing energies of colors, plants and crystals. Instinctively, I reached for "Gabriel", the blue-over-violet bottle. By applying the oily contents to my throat and temple, my communication abilities would be greatly improved, it was explained. What's this--a writer's miracle in a bottle? Intrigued, I brought "Gabriel" home and after only a few applications, I found myself enjoying what I can only describe as a creative high.

An ancient method

Now that I have spent many years researching the benefits of color, I'm not surprised "Gabriel" worked so well. "Color is a powerful tool," author Lori Reid wrote in ther book, Color Book: Use the healing powers of color to transform your life. "It acts on our bodies, minds, and emotions, triggering deep and subtle responses on a subconscious level."

Within each of us are spinning wheels of energy called chakras which correspond to a specific color of the spectrum, as well as an emotional issue. Red (root chakra, located at the base of the spine) is used for energy, grounding and passion. Orange (sacral chakra, located two inches below the navel) promotes joy and sexuality. Yellow (solar plexus chakra, located below the breastbone) helps counteract depression and stimulates mental activity. Green (heart chakra, located at the center of the chest) represents compassion and healing. Blue (throat chakra, located at the throat) deals with peace, communication and artistic expression. Indigo (brow chakra, located at the third eye area, between the brows) activates intuition. Violet (crown chakra, located at the crown of the head) represents spirituality and inspiration.

Since ancient times, color has been used in physical, mental and emotional healing. It is said that Hippocrates applied his medicine in rooms painted in soothing colors and used different colored salves and ointments as treatment. In ancient Egypt, China and India, individuals were dipped in colored pigment or bathed in light that was filtered through colored-glass windows. Today color is introduced by using crystals and visualization, wearing a particular color clothing to absorb color physically, applying colored lights or oils to the skin, eating colored foods and drinking colored water. One can also receive different color vibrations through music.

Color your world

How would you describe green to your readers? Before you write, visualize your setting and try to see, feel and smell the green. Say you are writing a short story about a young girl living in an old country cottage in Ireland. Is the color of the grass and trees an emerald or Kelly green? Does the grass feel dry or wet? How do you convey the smell of the countryside? Is green an earthy, clean smell? Is it sweet and slightly minty or antiseptic-smelling like pine?

"Becoming aware of the effects of color means that we can make use of its positive benefits to lift our spirits, to unlock our creative imagination, to enhance our environment and to improve our image, our well-being, and our lives," says Reid.

Did you know that if you write on a yellow note pad with blue ink, you can enhance both your communication and creative skills? Think about what you wish to communicate to your readers. Is it anger? Joy or pain?

Once you understand the excessive and deficient qualities associated with each color, you can write stories with more interesting, more believable characters. In her book, Color and Crystals: A Journey Through The Chakras, author Joy Gardner provides an excellent example of someone who has too much red energy:

"This wealthy perfectionist is the owner of a California restaurant chain. He rules his employees like a commanding general. He is nervous and chronically constipated. He owns three cars, which give him little satisfaction. He sleeps with many women, but it's an empty experience."

Gardner describes the rainbow colors and their related excessive energies as Red--greedy, egotistic, domineering, sexually indiscriminate; Orange--emotionally explosive, aggressive, manipulative, over-indulgent; Yellow--judgmental, workaholic, perfectionist, overly intellectual; Green--demanding, possessive, moody, melodramatic; Blue--arrogant, self-righteous, dogmatic, addictive; Indigo--egomaniac, proud, religiously dogmatic, authoritarian and Violet--psychotic, depressed, destructive.

An outstanding example of a red personality is the aptly named Scarlett O'Hara, the fiery heroine from "Gone With The Wind". Talk about attention-getters! Scarlett was stubborn and temperamental, a woman who demanded everything the world had to offer. Nothing could stop her from achieving her goals, not death and destruction nor the scorn and wagging tongues of the local citizens. If she had to steal her sister's beau, murder a Yankee or toil in the fields, well, so be it. She would not be defeated.

In the end, Scarlett had amassed great wealth and had rebuilt her beloved Tara, but she had suffered great losses as well. Her daughter was dead and her husband, Rhett Butler, clearly didn't give a damn and was heading out the door. But we just know that Scarlett got Rhett in the end. Why? Because she never, ever quit. She knew what she wanted and she would fight the devil himself to ensure that she got it. Scarlett O'Hara was the ultimate survivor. Surely, if she had had a personal mantra, it would have been: "It's all about me!"

A writer's meditation

Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting on a beautiful white sandy beach. The sun is directly overhead and its rays are brilliant and warm as they flow from the top of your head and throughout your body.

Let your toes feel the cool, Caribbean blue waters. See yourself staring out to sea, mesmerized by the dancing rhythm of the waves. Watch the seagulls fly above you, then see them dive into the sparkling water. You feel at peace here. After awhile, you notice a huge wave coming toward you but you are not afraid. The water comes close to your hand and when the wave is gone, you see it has left you a wondrous gift.

Glowing like jewels on the sand are seven different colors of seaglass. You pick up the red seaglass first and hold it in the palm of your hand. Stare into the seaglass and imagine you are becoming smaller and smaller until you are surrounded by the red seaglass. Feel the warmth and energy of the color red. Red is the first color of the rainbow. It is the color of passion and enthusiasm and survival. Red helps you obtain your material needs.

Now pick up the orange-colored seaglass. Orange is the second color of the rainbow. Look into the seaglass and become the color orange. Orange is a joyful color. With orange, you feel happy about your decision to become a writer and you will not allow anyone or anything to dampen your enthusiasm.

Now pick up the yellow-colored seaglass and feel the power of yellow surround you. Yellow is the third color of the rainbow. Yellow gives you better confidence in your writing abilities, no matter how many rejection slips or criticisms you receive.

Place the green-colored seaglass into your hand. Green is the fourth color of the rainbow. It is the color of harmony and balance and peace. When you are hurrying to meet deadlines for books and articles, visualize the color green and your balance will be restored.

Pick up the blue-colored seaglass and become the color blue. Blue is the fifth color of the rainbow and offers you creativity and communication. Blue helps you perceive the truth and to conquer writer's block.

Now pick up the indigo-colored seaglass. This is the sixth color of the rainbow. Indigo is the color of intuition, your inner voice that tells you to "go for it". You need to trust your intuition if you are to realize your potential and become a successful writer.

Now there is only one seaglass left to explore, the violet-colored one. Violet is the seventh color of the rainbow. It is the color of faith. No matter how difficult your life may get, faith never lets you give up on yourself. In your journey as a writer, remember the color violet and your abilities and opportunities will improve.

Now slowly open your eyes and when you are ready, take your favorite colored pen or pencil in hand and write a page in your personal color journal, knowing that the power of the seven colors of the rainbow has made you into a better and more creative writer.

Are you ready to do some rainbow writing? Try these exercises now:

1. Write about a red place, object or character. OR write a cover letter to an agent, describing why he/she should take you on as a client. What are your accomplishments? Why are you certain your book or article will sell?

2. Write about an orange place, object or character. OR write about the first time you knew you really wanted to become a writer. Then write how you felt when you received your first criticism or rejection letter. Were you angry? Sad? Suicidal? How did you resolve the situation?

3. Write about a yellow place, object or character. OR write a movie synopsis of your life. Is it a poignant drama, comedy or psychological thriller? Which actor portrays you? Would you give your life story a General, PG-13 or R rating?

4. Write about a green place, object or character. OR write a poem about a time when you really loved something or someone. How did you express your love? Was it returned or rejected?

5. Write about a blue place, object or character. OR interview yourself as if you are already a successful writer. What suggestions would you give to a beginning writer? How have you managed to keep your name at the top of the bestseller lists? How do you avoid writer's block? Do you network with other writers?

6. Write about an indigo place, object or character. OR write a dialogue in which a small child is describing your present surroundings to an older blind person.

7. Write about a violet place, object or character. OR in first person, create a Cinderella-like fairytale where your greatest desire is to attend the most famous writers conference in the country. What are your adversities? How do you eventually get to the conference? Describe the general layout of the conference. Whom do you meet there? What questions do you ask your favorite author? What lessons do you learn? (Begin your story with "Once upon a time I was...")

Creating a personal color journal

Once I was angry with a person whom I felt had treated me unfairly. Since I was already "seeing red", I instinctively reached for a red pen and began to write passionately, wildly, about the injustice of it all. Had I been trying to "chill", I would have grabbed my "cool blue" pen instead. But in this situation I needed to express my anger--to really feel the emotional power of it--and that is why I chose to "be" red for that journaling session.

As you might expect from someone with an Oz collection, one of my major philosophies in life is to have fun, so I suggest the more colorful you can make your journal, the better. Choose either a large spiral notebook in your favorite color or seven different notebooks to reflect each hue of the rainbow and its corresponding emotion. If you are feeling depressed on the day of your journal entry, you need to add more red, so you will write this entry in red because red is the antidote to blue.

To get you started, here are nine colorful journaling prompts:

1. On the top of each page, write and complete this sentence: "The color I feel today is _______________________ because..."

2. Describe how you generally feel about the color red (or orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo or violet) and why.

3. Using the color red, complete this affirmation: "Today I have..."

4. Using the color orange, complete this affirmation: "Today I feel..."

5. Using the color yellow, complete this affirmation: "Today I can..."

6. Using the color green, complete this affirmation: "Today I love..."

7. Using the color blue, complete this affirmation: "Today I speak..."

8. Using the color indigo, complete this affirmation: "Today I see..."

9. Using the color violet, complete this affirmation: "Today I know..."

Dive write in, the aura's fine

Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Indigo. Violet. These seven colors are powerful tools for writers. So if you've lost your muse somewhere along the yellow brick road and don't have a pair of ruby slippers to find it, look to the rainbow and you'll discover that writing is an even greater adventure when it's not all black and white.

Eleyne Austen Sharp has been a professional writer since 1980. She is a certified color therapist, certified spiritual aromatherapist and creator of Rainbow Writing, an innovative journaling and creative writing technique. Eleyne is the founder of Aura House (http://www.aurahouse.com), a professional color therapy and training center. Email her at rainbowwriter@aurahouse.com

Story Endings - Ten to Avoid

A logical, satisfying ending is always required in a short story, but how do you ensure that yours is fresh and new? One of the ways is to avoid the obvious. Here are some common endings seen by editors: use them at your peril.

And then I woke up.

The 'Dallas' gambit. This approach is nothing more than a cop-out for people with no imagination. Stories should reach a logical conclusion that satisfies the reader and resolves any conflicts. This method does neither.

And then I died.

The 'Weird Tales' gambit. This one turned up regularly in horror tales during the early part of last century, until it was overplayed by HP Lovecraft, among others. A diary which ends in a string of nonsense words as a crawling terror from beyond comes for the author was fine the first time out, but most editors have seen it too many times.

And I found out I'd been dead all along.

The 'Sixth Sense' gambit. This is an old one, which is why people who were well read in the genre spotted the twist very early in M Night Shyamalan's film. An overused variation is to have someone breaking out of a coffin after a supposedly premature burial. Don't do it; the editor will see it coming from a mile away.

And they called them Adam and Eve.

The 'Bible' gambit or, as Michael Moorcock puts it, Shaggy God stories. If you start with a nuclear holocaust or human colonists on a new planet, make sure you don't use this ending or the story will be bounced back to you straight away. The other trap to avoid is having a computer become a god. That avenue was new in the '40s, but these days an editor will laugh himself out of his chair.

And then I saw the fangs, just before he bit me

The 'singles bar pick-up' gambit. With this worn-out ending, a person visits a bar and is seduced by a pale, interesting stranger who turns out to be a vampire, a ghost, a werewolf or an alien. There are several variations seen nowadays, such as same-gender meetings and graphic sex scenes before the revelation, but the stories are all the same and editors know it.

And then I caught up with the '@!* who'd done me wrong and shot the @'!** out of them.

The 'Death Wish' gambit is the beloved technique of Michael Winner fanatics and gun-nuts. It makes for a very dull story unless you can bring style, energy and a unique vision to it, in which case you'd probably be better off trying to sell it as a film treatment. There's a long tradition of revenge movies, but in the written word they all come across as being very similar. A variant on this handling is the Charles Atlas gambit, where the weedy nerd becomes a kung-fu expert to wreak revenge on his tormentors. Don't be tempted to use this angle. Editors will know what's coming.

And the next day I read in the paper that he'd died.

The 'I talked to a ghost' gambit. This practice turned up frequently in Victorian literature. It's usually no more than an anecdote turned into a story. Variations include talking to someone who is later discovered to be the victim of a plane crash, an automobile wreck or a major catastrophe. Editors see a slew of these after a natural disaster, but whatever caused the person's death, the stories are all the same.

And it was a man in a mask all along.

The 'Scooby-Doo' gambit. Pretend spooks are a clich. The whole story builds up a sense of supernatural menace, only to reveal a human agency behind it all. It won't usually get past an editor but if it does, readers will feel disappointed and let down.

And it was my evil twin; we were separated at birth.

The 'doppelganger' gambit. Stephen King got away with this in The Dark Half and Dean Koontz pulled off a variation by making both twins evil in Shivers, but unless you have their style and wit, you shouldn't attempt it. Another variation, beloved of the romantics among us, is to have the protagonist find out they're really the son, daughter or sibling of a rich family. This mode is really just wishful thinking on behalf of the writer. You shouldn't be sharing your daydreams with editors.

I'm really a dog/cat/demon/alien.

The 'non-human storyteller' gambit is tried and tested. That's the problem. If you don't leave any clues to the fact, the reader will feel the ending is a cop-out. If you do leave clues, the reader and your editor will spot the ending coming unless you're very good at disguising the fact.

Remember, people have been writing stories for a very long time. If you've read a similar ending in a story or seen it in a film, you can bet the editor will be aware of it, too. There are only so many original endings to go around; make sure yours is one of them.

William Meikle is a Scottish writer, now living in Canada, with seven novels published in the States and three more coming in 2007/8, all in the independent fantasy and horror press. His short work and articles have appeared in the UK, Ireland, USA, Canada, Greece, Saudi Arabia and India. He also has three shorts produced from his scripts, and several supernatural scripts currently on option, including four shorts, and a supernatural thriller feature.

William Meikle
http://www.williammeikle.com

Writing About What You Know

Tapping into the information bank you have inside of you already requires a way to get access to your inner author. It is that part of your brain that you normally hear about as your right brain. The right brain is the part that likes music, laughter, fun, games and being creative.

When you try to approach your writing from an a more structured approach you will immediately be shifted to your left brain that is more logical. That side also is more intellectual and analyzes well but is not usually very good at communicating. That is why writers block seems so frequently to be a problem with many people.

Step outside of your logic and just tell your reader about your information as if you are telling a friend who is sitting across the table from you. Writing in that kind of conversational tone will connect with more people and will also be easier for you to do. When the flow of words begins to start you can relax into your story and writing will be easier for you.

Next time you sit down to write you will find that the flow will start more easily and if writers block appears you can recognize immediately that you are leaning toward your left brain and need to go back toward the right. When you experience this you will find that your block will be easier to dissolve because you have identified what is the cause of the block. This flag will help show you there is a need to change your writing approach. It is a great tool for you to use so you can begin to write as well as write more creatively.

And now I invite you to join me for a series of writing exercises to help you discover your areas of interest in writing as well as increasing your creativity. You may access these exercises by visiting http://www.freecreativewritingstrategies.com.

You also may enjoy visiting my blog at http://www.creativewritingmadeeasy.com.

Tips for Scholarship Essay Writing

Scholarships that require essays offer you the opportunity to stand out from the pack and make an impact on the reader. If an essay is ever optional, always, always include it! By choosing to ignore a request for an essay, it shows the application-committee or reviewer you really did not want to put the work in. You are writing this essay for money; it's worth the time and effort you put into it. (It is unwise to write one essay and copy/paste it for all the scholarships you are applying for.)The essay section of a scholarship is your only chance to distinguish yourself from the rest of the applicants. You may be just as qualified, or perhaps even less qualified, than others, so this is your time to shine and let them know why YOU deserve this scholarships.What will distinguish yours from all the others? Perhaps you deserve this scholarship, but other students probably do too. What makes you different from the masses? Put some time into thinking about what you're going to write and always have someone else read it. A second opinion, third, or even fourth will likely bring you plenty of valuable feedback. Ask your teachers, coaches, managers at work, your friends. The more feedback you can get, the better off you are.The purpose of the essay, for the reviewers, is to learn about you. Your words reveal something about your personality and plans for the future, and a chance to get an in-depth look at the topic at hand. Clear writing ability and creativity do not go unnoticed in your essays. Before you begin writing
Create an outline of your paper. Regardless of the order in which you write each section, you should know prior to writing what topic or main points you should cover in each part of your paper. Basic outlines have an introduction, body, and conclusion. Intro
Typically it is a good idea to use some sort of "attention getting" aspect; make the reader want to continue reading. Do not begin every sentence with "I" or "my". Although this essay may be about you, it sounds redundant. Add some variety and spice by changing your language and sentence structure. For example: I am a senior in high school and I am going to college XYW after I graduate. I have participated in many great activities during the last four years. I think I deserve this scholarship because ..." The repetition within those sentences is boring and will not engage the reader.Body
The body of the essay should support the main topic of the essay; make sure to give examples and explain why you are qualified. Avoid repeating yourself using the same language. Personal and specific examples create a story that may draw in the reader and create a memorable impression. Using generalities is not convincing; they may be applied to most people and do not create a unique impression of you.Conclusion
To conclude your essay, restate your main point, although do not use the same language word for word. Using a future-tense may be appropriate. If you choose to use a quote or a poem in your essay, choose wisely and be selective; it may be perceived as clich or unoriginal, or even inapplicable.

For free scholarship information, check out http://www.squarehatmoney.com/scholarships

Audio Book Downloads - The Gutenberg Killers

Audio books are here to stay, say the experts. Judging by their steady year-on-year growth, this is not a marketing statement, but a fact. Now these same experts are predicting a dramatic upsurge in the sale of audio book downloads over the next two years.

The prediction makes sense in view of the following:

* The market penetration of MP3 and iPod devices is significant. This penetration is set to increase as some publishers are giving away MP3 players free of charge with purchases in order to encourage future downloads.

* Such downloads are quite a bit cheaper than printed books.

* Current generation readers enjoy the convenience of books which they can download from the comfort of their homes - even at 2 o'clock in the morning!

Purchasing an audio book online doesn't mean that you will only be offered older books or that you will have to make do with a limited variety. On the contrary, all the latest and greatest print releases are freely available as downloads nowadays. The same applies to all-time favorite novels, such as Harry Potter and all-time favorite authors such as Stephen King.

Harry Potter audio books

In spite of the controversies surrounding the six Harry Potter books, it became an overnight success: All these books have been translated into 47 languages with millions of copies sold worldwide; the seventh book is due for release; the fifth Harry Potter movie is in production; and all these titles are available in download format.

The readability of the Harry Potter series precludes children under the age of ten from comfortably reading it in print. This makes purchasing these books in digital format a worthwhile consideration. The popularity of Harry Potter's books has resulted in the series becoming available in most digital formats.

Jim Dale, the narrator, has won a Grammy Award, two Grammy nominations, and two AudioFile Earphone Awards for his work on the Harry Potter series.

A further plus-factor for purchasing the Harry Potter books in digital form is the price. You could save as much as 25% per book! The seventh book in the series, The Deathly Hallows, can now be pre-ordered. It may be a good time to order this pending release when you purchase the other Harry Potter books in the series.

Stephen King audio books

Stephen King is a firm favorite. Since his first book "Carrie" was published in 1973, Stephen King has written more than 60 novels, short stories, plays etc; twenty of his stories were made into films; and all his best selling books are available in digital format.

Of significance to the Stephen King fans, is the fact that he is about to retire, so in view of this imminent retirement, it could be worth considering purchasing one of the 'Stephen King Live' audio downloads available on the internet.

It is a live recording made in 1998 of a reading he made at London's Festival Hall, with Stephen King himself as the narrator. The recording is available on CDs or as an online download, but interestingly enough, not in printed format at all.

The unavailability of Stephen King Live in the printed media is an interesting phenomenon. What if emerging authors had to decide not to publish in print? Offering book downloads instead, could mean a wider reach, better sales and improved margins.

Audio books to download

There are literally thousands and thousands of these, and the numbers are increasing exponentially every day. So Who knows? Only the future can tell whether book downloads will one day rule. In other words, is the tyranny of the printed word coming to an end in a future near you? Bye-bye Gutenberg?

Boualem Amrouche is a successful Internet publisher, owner of the site
http://www.spoken-books.com where you can find thousands of audio books to download, some being FREE.

Please note that this article can be freely reproduced as-is, as long as the contents of this box are also published unaltered.

The Death Diary - (A Short Story)

The Death Diary of
Troy Burroughs

Extract #2
Day Three and Four of Troy Burroughs

Day Three

Being dead is going to take some getting used to. According to earth time this would be day three of my so called, death. I keep looking down on North America, I guess it's still home to me for the moment anyway. A few hours ago, I caught a comet, the tail end of it and I noticed it was quite slow compared to my form of travel, that is, I think I was going as fast as 200,000-thousand miles an hour, and it somehow zigzagged, and jumped off or out of its orbit and fell back into it somehow-kind of speaking-by an asteroid belt is where I was, I'd estimate somewhere around twenty to fifty million miles from earth, who can say, surely not me for certain.

I thus far, have learned something in this new development of mine, that being, traveling in space in what I call shape-traveling, for that is all I am, simple a shape with some kind of energy source to me, one could even call it residue, soul or whatever they wish, a part of another dimension with substance: I used the thrust of the comet, the velocity-I used it somehow, not quite knowing how, allowing it to push me, that is, more likened to throwing me-hurdling me I would guess, out into the empty part of space, the black airless cold space...I actually felt something to my shape: I sensed something also, something like. the several world surrounding me produced other forms of life, ghosts maybe, demonic being trying to escape earth's hell, other aliens looking down through their portholes, through layers of time and space and echoes, and so forth. I felt like a new born baby learning everything all over, I do think I have some source of natural feeling to my movements, should I want to use them, up to now its been more on the order of the elements in space moving me you might say. I, at this point cannot name it but I'd like to kick it, to see if how much control I have here in this new environment.

Nevertheless, what I was going to say, had on my mind to say, before I got into what I just mentioned, was-here I am, back where I started from, the day I died, overlooking earth, but again, here I am, in this asteroid belt-if you get what I mean, think-travel and there you are, among really simple, big fat rocks everywhere in space, and earth is no exception, other than it is more colorful.

Well, to make a diary note shorter, once seen is enough, and so it was a good visit, but I must learn how to control it. It is like going to the Rocky Mountains or possibly I could qualify it to equal the Bad Lands in South Dakota, going back there back and forth like a yoyo. But again, once seen, that is enough, unless this kind of thing is your thing, and it is not my thing by far: I mean, I'm only on day three, and this is what you get. I think that area is best for campers, not me. I'd prefer hotels, but I suppose you don't need them out here. The more I think of it, something is missing. Oh well, I'll investigate. Now it's becoming evening time over Minnesota (St. Paul, is my home town (where my wife lives, Rosa), the sun is going down.

Day Four

Morning time in Minnesota, the sun is coming up, I got an inkling, I got to go back to see how my little wife is doing, Rosa. I know for a few hours after I died, she was upset, crying, hysterical. I didn't know what to do for her, she couldn't see me, and I did not know how to communicate with her other than trying to set a mood, by way of producing calmness about her immediate space: prayer helped.

She got me to the hospital, and I know I was getting better, a heart attach I heard them say. Then she stayed overnight, and I died in the middle of the night, she had fallen to sleep. I was happy about that, happy because she was so tired: everyone thought I was in a coma, but I was really between life and death, a new kind of order they didn't anticipate, one that is dreamy like, a stage before death, one you can see about you, hear sounds and sense people, but cannot talk, it is not a coma, although folks think it is, or could be, it is in-between where you touch the hand of Christ, but cannot feel it, only see it, and where your pours are filled with the light of God. Then I died, and got sent here, not sure for how long thought.

For the longest moment, I hovered over the bed, looking at her, but I had no power to say or do anything-that was of course after the in-between period, where I was in a dream like world. Now that I think of it, I was in shock-kind of shock, after the in-between took on pure death, then she woke up, and as I was saying I was hovering over her, looking down, I didn't feel the grief as she was feeling, but a separation from my body, in the sense of emptiness from a shell: So many experiences at once.

That little Inca wife of mine just cried and cried, and hugged me, I wanted to comfort her, but she'll have to go through it like me someday, if the Lord willing I'll be there to comfort her.

Anyways I am now in my old house, hovering about. She's got my urn next to my mother's, she had me cremated today. I missed the funeral; I guess they had a small one at the cremation area. No one showed up from my side of the family, as expected, no problem; it was all grieved out long ago, and better for it, I prefer quite times. I think Rosa is going to take my urn, and my mother's and put it into the Huancayo, Peru, and Cemetery, in one of those vaults, she was a good wife.

She's crying again. I wonder if I can somehow let her know I'm here, and all right. I should pray, matter of fact, I thought I would get to see the Lord by know, Jesus Christ, but first things first, I heard a voice say that, It think it was Serr'el, my guardian angel, he had a hell of a job with taking care of me, guarding me while on earth, I hope I don't get a job like his, too much grief and wondering. I get the chills just thinking of his name. I also get the feeling I have to polish myself up to meet the Lord, you know, kind of take care of business, Elvis used to say that. I know he is not far away, -and I thank Him for his patience.

Now back to my little Rosa, she is sitting in my big sofa chair in the living room, tears are still coming down. Let's see if I can do something to let her know I'm present (I told her once, we cry-during our grieving period, or time, for the great times we had, that is called sadness, not depression, sadness says, those times were all worth while, I hope she remembers that).

As I said, and I shall repeat, there she is, sitting in the sofa chair, I know what I'll do, I'll make noise like walking on the floor, footsteps, not too creepy, just light enough for her to know I am with her. But how do I do that, I don't weigh anything? Too many questions for simple things; but you know I felt the thrust of the comet; yaw, yaw, that's it, creates energy from energy. As I step one foot in front of the other, you can hear my footsteps, and see the rug impressions of my feet, it is taking all my energy to produce these footsteps, she's looking up, now she looking around: look down, down little wife, look down. She doesn't look down. She's getting a little scared, I better stop. Now she rests back into the chair, she's thinking though.

She got up to check the hallway, now the window. I can't do that again, I got to practice; I guess a spirit can even loose energy. She went back to the chair; it's dark outside, the TV is on, it is drowning out my footsteps. For her the day is young, for me, now sure, I guess down here it's as it would be, forever long, just a day but with light and darkness, I don't feel the heat or cold. I'm going to try something else. I'm going to stand in the archway to the living room and try to make my configuration, my spirit form light up, just a bit, just a slight emotion, if I darken it, it might scare her. I noticed I had one in outer-space.

[A long pause]

It's morning now, dark morning, so it must be pretty early, she is cleaning the house, getting ready to face the day, she notices my chair, the dinning room light is off so is the kitchen light, she turns it on and a little electric heater emitting heat she turns off in the bedroom, she is facing the mirror in the bathroom. This will be my best try think, if only she focuses hard on the mirror; I'll try to reflect my shape.

Here I go, MMMMMMMM-Materializing [light starts to fill the mirror a faded light, dull but pronounced nonetheless in a spiritual form. She's looking at me, rubbing her eyes, I'm loosing my energy source, and it is like holding your breath trying to get this light out. She's leaning forward, squinting her eyes.

[Middle of the Night]

Got a new idea, I'll enter her dreams, slowly, if this is possible, and I heard the nightmare demon can do it all the time, unless you pray for them not to. Therefore, why cannot a good spirit like me do it? That of course a question for me, one I'll answer by trying to do, what I'm not sure I can do.

I'm not sure how you do it, but I got a sense of how will come-I'll sit by her and just whisper in her ears, and try to create a sense of me, and she will picture me, and I will let her know all is well: "Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa..., all is well, I love you, always have, it is me, I'm all dressed in fogy white, I'll be waiting for you and we'll travel around the world, no, better yet, around the worlds, and into new galaxies."

She sees me, visualizing me says, in her dream world (I hope she remembers and writes it down): "...yes, yes, I DO see you," she says.

"I'm fine Rosa, I'm doing ok, I miss you and I'll be around should you need me, just call on me. Like my mother used to do, remember how she kept us from the fire?"

She's crying in her sleep, says: "...no, no don't go.'"

"But I can't stay too long; it takes too much whatever it is, energy and like the bee, remember the bee in the bottle, he lost his energy to fly, then he could hardly walk trying to climb that glass bottle, then I set him free and he nourished himself in the grass, and he regained his power, and flight, and few away; perhaps for another day."

She went back to sleep, she's stop crying. She's breathing better now. I think she'll remember this dream as more realistic than non-fiction, or symbolic, I hope.

Originally written, 7-3-2006
10-22-2008 (Revised and reedited)

See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com